zur Nacht was zum Schmunzeln

[thinkpinkt21]

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research
literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese
eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.


2.
Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.


3.
Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.



4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than us.


5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of
sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.


6. The
French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than us.



CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

 

[Aviator]

das ist genauso hohl wie die formel für das perfekte käsebrot

http://portal.gmx.net/de/themen/lif...ht-das-perfekte-Kaese-Sandwich-aus,f=tt4.html

 

[McPixl]

nicht schlecht wobei ich trotz dieser ironier den amis tatsächlich zutraue das sie das wirklich glauben und gar nicht auf die Idee kommen das sie sich wahnsinnig ungesund ernähren.

abgeshen davon SO fett ist unsere ernährung nun wirklich nicht.
höchstens vergammelt

 

[AGotthelf]

great!!! :thumbsup:

 

[Mornsgrans]

[quote='McPixl',index.php?page=Thread&postID=393354#post393354]nicht schlecht wobei ich trotz dieser ironier den amis tatsächlich zutraue das sie das wirklich glauben und gar nicht auf die Idee kommen das sie sich wahnsinnig ungesund ernähren.

abgeshen davon SO fett ist unsere ernährung nun wirklich nicht.
höchstens vergammelt [/quote]
Da irrst Du. Nicht mehr lange und die Deutschen haben die Amerikaner überholt. Die Hälfte der Bevölkerung ist schon fettleibig

 

[Dreamwalker]

[quote='Mornsgrans',index.php?page=Thread&postID=393456#post393456]

Da irrst Du. Nicht mehr lange und die Deutschen haben die Amerikaner überholt. Die Hälfte der Bevölkerung ist schon fettleibig [/quote]Also jetzt übertreib' mal nicht..

Es ist gewiss nicht jeder 2. Deutsche fettleibig..

 

[ingope]

http://www.auslandsjahr.eu/2007/04/20/studie-zur-fettleibigkeit-deutschland-und-usa-gleichauf/

http://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/mensch/0,1518,478167,00.html

 

[thinkpinkt21]

...am besten gleich eine Umfrage zum Bodymass Index der Forums User machen ..

 

[MATRIXX]

Nein, Passend zum Forum, einen Fettbelag test auf dem Notebook, und den BMI des Notebooks angeben.

 

[DVormann]

[quote='MATRIXX',index.php?page=Thread&postID=393497#post393497]einen Fettbelag test auf dem Notebook[/quote]Eine Fettschicht befindet sich immer auf dem Display meines Tablets. Das geht gar nicht anders...

 

[MATRIXX]

Da haben wir es doch, Tabletuser sind "Dick".

 

[tv34]

ich bin nicht dick , ich bin zu klein für mein Gewicht , aber ich kann essen was ich will , ich werde nicht grösser !?

 

[Dreamwalker]

@ingope:

Komische Studie, irgendwie.. es kann doch nicht sein, dass "75,4 Prozent der Männer" einen BMI > 25 haben??

Hätte höchstens 25% geschätzt.. naja^^

 

[thinkpinkt21]

Thematisch zwar was anderes, aber immer was zum Lachen :thumbsup:


The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After
all the background checks, interviews & testing were done, there were 3
finalists; two men & a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents
took one of the men to a large metal door & handed him a gun. 'We must know
that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside
the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair... Kill her!!' The man said,
'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then
you're not the right man for this job.Take your wife & go
home.'

The second man was given the
same instructions, took the gun & went into the room. All was quiet for
about 5 minutes. He came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill
my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife
home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was told to kill her
husband. She took the gun & went into the room. Shots were heard, one after
another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few
minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly & there stood the woman,
wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she
said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'
MORAL:

Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

 

[MATRIXX]

Sry aber der war schonmal in Deutscher version hier vertreten.

 

[thinkpinkt21]

oops, wußte ich nicht :thumbdown:
dann eben das da...
T he Blokes
Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At
last a geezer has taken the time to write this all down
[align=center]

Finally , the Bloke's side of the story .
( I must admit , it's
pretty good.)
We always hear" the rules "
From the female side .


Now here are the rules from
the male side .
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered
"1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to
work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up , put it down.
We need
it up , you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of
the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no , we are
never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1.
Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one :
Subtle hints do not
work !
Strong hints do not work !
Obvious hints do not work !
Just say
it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we
do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that
lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a
doctor

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact , all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you
won 't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls ,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1.
If you think you're fat , you probably are .
Don't ask us

1. If
something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or
angry , then we meant the
other one.

1. You can
either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not
both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1.
Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL
men see in only 16 colors , like Windows default settings.
Peach , for
example , is a fruit , not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
haveno idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches , it Will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask
what is wrong and you say "nothing'', We will act like nothing's wrong.
We
know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle , besides we know you
will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an
answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to
go somewhere , absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics asFOOTBALL , the shotgun formation ,
FISHING
orgolf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1.
You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes , I know , I
have to sleep on the settee tonight;
But did you
know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[/align]

 

[DerTonLebt]

Den hatten wir auch schon mal ...

Oha, der ist sogar von Dir, und noch gar nicht solange her... :wacko:

 

[duonierdas]

Das Gute an Alzheimer?

- Man lernt ständig neue nette Leute kennen...

 

[thinkpinkt21]

@DerTonLebt
oops...
das gute an Alzheimer, man schreibt immer wieder die gleichen Dinge und findets immer wieder toll weil neu :thumbup:

aber einen hab' ich noch...wenn der auch wieder alt ist, dann mach ich echt mal nen Alzheimer test....


[align=center][font='Arial, sans-serif']WHY MEN
ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People-- What
do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never
be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can
wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The
world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop
and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People
never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes
don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the
time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You
know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one
suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for
the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite
you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is
$8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see
wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only
have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all
your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can
"do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of
choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas
shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No
wonder men are happier. [/font]
[/align]

 

[Mornsgrans]

Du weißt, dass wir hier in einem deutschen Forum sind?